Dysfunctionally_Functioning

What is beauty? Who determines what makes a person beautiful? Can it be measured? Yesterday I was going thru a few photo albums at both my mom and my sisters and came across some childhood photos of me. What I say me my eyes sweat. I saw the most beautiful little girl. Funny thing is I've never felt that way. The only time my parents or family has ever said that I was pretty was when I was permed up and had on pounds of makeup. So that was the example of beauty set before me. All my life all I ever heard was how beautiful my sister was and how she use to stop traffic. Me on the other hand I am railroad thin and the uncute one. So then I begin to think... My mom is dark skinned but I know she doesnt like it. All her life she was told how ugly she was so she made as she puts it kept her face made up and hair done. She tells this story of being a lil girl and walkingpast a crowd of people. A girl looks and says ohh she is so ugly! Well it was a young man in the crowd he was about 14 cause moms was like 8, and he says no shes not shes beautiful. I thank GOD for that youngman whomever he may be. But, sadly the damage had been done. So she in turn pushed it off on me. Both my sister and I are brown skin borderline light. Her dad is black and Indian and my dad is just light. I think that comes from her experiences growing up. Better yet I know. Its like the story I heard about the elephant . An elephant was captured in the jungle they took him and tied a string around his leg and whenever he tried to move he couldnt go far. When they removed the string he would still only move as far as he could with the string on. The point is once you have a persons mind you have them. It doesnt matter if they are no longer slaves. They are still enslaved in their mind. That brings up the issue of natural hair and beauty. Does having Napptural hair make u less beautiful? Of course me being napptural I have to say no. As my BFF would say: How do you not like what is growing outta your scalp? What makes a person beautiful?

Labels: Journey To A Better Me, Random thoughts and feelings