Dysfunctionally_Functioning

If you've been following then you know that as the year begin I started a fast or of a detoxing of my life. Well, I am moving forward from detox to renewal. I've purged quite a few things from my life and I've really been on a mission not only to get back on track but to be better than I was before. See I've been thru it all well lets just say a lot. Attempted molestation at the hands of a relative, drowing at age7, living with an addict, the ups and downs of relationships, making someone a priority when I was only a option, miscarriage, rape, abortion, depression, PTSD etc... In the midst of it all I recieved a touch from El Elyon (The Most High). A couple of years ago I was in the most amazing place. all was well in my soul. Then I hit a rut. I allowed outside influences into my life. I allowed people whom I thought were on the road I was on and tryin to get better speak into my life. You really have to watch who it is that you allow into your frint row. Everyone will not be there to cheer you on or pray for you when it gets rough. Or pray with you when that is the only thing that can be done. I try very hard to put into every relationship that I have no matter who it may be what I want in return. I try to be the best friend, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin etc.. that I can be. I am a optimist for the most part but I am also human and sensitive. I don't force myself or opinions on anyone else. Once I see that I am hitting a brick wall I'm done. It's a wrap I'm moving on. I will not beat you over the head with my thoughts and opinions. This has cause problems to a many a folk who don't understand that approach. Some see me as judgemental yet others see it as selfishness and others as me withdrawing. Call it what you may I call it allowing you to do you and when you need me I'm a phone call, email, text or short drive away. For the people thats been in my life 3 years or less they don't get it. Anyway the whole renewal thing is just a renewal of my mind. I'm playing keep away from all negativity. Thats means thoughts, actions, people and words. Its impossible to a degree because you are the only thing and person you have control over. As the guard of you, you control what you allow in thru your ear gate, eye gate, mouth and mind. You choose what you recieve and what you don't. Other people are only to blame for so much. Trust I spent a lot of time on that playground. I'm learning that once you allow God/Jesus into your life totally you have to let Him do what it is He does best. God is not a bully and will not force himself on you. He is the perfect gentleman. The key is you have to make yourself avaiable to Him. That is a hard thing to do. I struggle with it everyday, but I also get better at it everyday. I want everyone in my life to experience the person of Jesus. Seek His face and not just His hand. People can and will bring you down if you allow it. YOu have to be cafeful who and what you allow to be spoken over you. When people are talking they are planting seeds even when you don't realize it. Its just like church. Everyone that says they are a Christian is not. Many believe but only a few follow. The bible says in Isaiah 18Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
What I get from that is dont live in the past. Hes doing something new.
So I don't know who this was for because I had no intention of writing all of this :). SO to all of you in the struggle keep your head up. stayed prayed up and be blessed.
Romans 12:2:
2(A) Do not be conformed to this world,[a] but be transformed by(B) the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may(C) discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.[b]

Labels: Journey To A Better Me