Dysfunctionally_Functioning

Whenever I move and especially If I know I am not staying long I have 3 rules that I live by. #1.DO NOT fraternize with the locals, #2. DO NOT drink the water and lastly #3. DO NOT get in a relationship. This includes being in my hometown. I've had more than a few bad experiences. Yeah I broke rule #3. I'm back home bored outta my mind. Its a young man I've been knowing just about my whole life. This actually started before I moved back get to that later. We hadnt seen each other in ummmm lets say 10 yrs. Myspace is the devil. Long story short we've been going back and forth and recently we got together. Know Im confused. I know what he was expecting to pop but of course it didnt. He says he wants a relationship but I need to be patient due to the things he has going on right now. Hes working like 3 jobs not to mention the kids and all this other stuff. Thats not the problem. The problem is when my mind starts to rationalize or try to anyway. Thats dangerous because I tend to fall back on old ways of thinking. I have witnessed how hard and how much he works so I know hes not lying. However, the problem is being patient. Im not good at that. I hate when I dont...when I am left wondering. I know this probably doesnt make any sense but I am really going crazy. I was always told to listen when a man speaks he means what he says. But as I got older I saw that was not always true. I dont know. My mind is running 100 miles a second. I know this doesnt make any sense because Im having a problem putting my thoughts around it. I just feel like...............SLFJHEIOJHRF;.IEKHFUDFJVAHNRIEJAWREWJOKDL thats the universal sign for distress incase u dont know. Im just IDK............ I give up

Labels: Random thoughts and feelings, Relationships