Dysfunctionally_Functioning

Hello my name is ________ and I'm a alcoholic. So today I went to an AA meeting. No I am not an alcoholic nor do I drink. I went to support my dad. The last time I went I was maybe 13. TOnight was different though. Starters I really didnt want to go. I get there and Im thinking I dont want to hear these folks problems or even drag up memories. It turned out to be a tear jerker and worth an hour out of my day. One would think that because I dream of being a psychologist that I would be ok. Umm no. I hate being in groups and group therapy. I dont need a group to tell me how jacked my life is because of my upbringing and I really dont want to sit and listen to my dad tell all our business to a stranger. So I'm in the mtg and of course I was introduced as his daughter. With this people started talking about their relationships with their kids and how their addictions played a role. I wont say that it was something I needed but more so something they needed. It did help in a way because my eyes were somewhat opened. I know it has to be really hard to stand up before someone and admit your problems and shortcomings. I commend each and everyone of those 25 people there tonight. I did make me want to stop being so hard on my dad, but it also made me realize that just like they are in transition so are we are their children. I did agree to attend another meeting with him before I leave tomorrow. Who knows. I will say that I am very proud of each of the people and families represented tonight. So while we are all different and our experiences are the same if you have someone in your life who is in the process of cleaning up give them a chance. My dad started getting high when I was 4 I am now 28 and hes been clean for a year. Hes been drinking for longer than that and has been sober for a year. While over my lifetime I have heard him say a many a day that he was quiting the fact that he is actually trying means a lot. Who knows maybe now when I have children I will let him be around them because I always said that I would not. I am proud and who knows maybe our relationship will heal and move forward as well. Be blessed.

Labels: Relationships