Dysfunctionally_Functioning

As I previously stated before I've been celibate for 21 months. Wow. It hurts just thinking about it. About every 3 months is when I really begin to think about it. Like right about now. Some days I think Im going crazy others not so bad. I'm asking myself if my current state of evilness is due to this fact. I mean I know why I am doing it but its getting harder and harder. I refuse to say that I am a nympho but I am next in line :). U know I think I better get married soon or I'm gonna fall off the wagon, boat and train. I've had a few suggestions as to what I should do by some well meaning friends but I must say IT AINT NUTHIN LIKE THE REAL THING!! What the hell was I thinking? My BFF Jill made a good point. Its a fleeting feeling that if I go and get it down I'll end up mad in the end. So whats a gurl to do? I watched a movie on the I hate man network (lifetime)last night and the movie was about a woman marrying herself. She meant well but fell in love in the process. What she wanted was to commit to loving herself and not to be true and honest with herself. Everyone wanted her to be married and she felt like that would be settling if she wasnt in love. The wedding was symbolic. Sidebar: my thoughts are random so If I've lost ya I'm sorry. Back to the story: I totally understand what she was trying to do and I feel her to a point. Question is how are you supposed to make it in a world where sex is everything and everywhere?

Labels: Random thoughts and feelings