Dysfunctionally_Functioning

I am a city girl. I was born and raised in what I consider the country but i realize there are a lot more places thats smaller than where I am from. Case in point small backwoods GA where I am now. I HATE and I do mean HATE living in the country. For the last 11 years I have lived in major cities. Cities such as Baltimore, Tampa, Atlanta, Dallas etc.. Of them all Atlanta captured my heart. Since I was a lil kid all I ever wanted to do was live in ATL. Do to unforseen circumstances after 3 years of having my dream come true I was forced to leave =(. Now I am trapped in HELL!!! ok thats an exaggeration. I choose to live in small nowhere military town GA because the person I chose to spend my life with lives here. There are advantages of being here of course. Im currently sitting on the porch listening as the kids run up and down the street playing. Crime is very low and most people are very friendly. These are things I miss about being at home besides being around family when I feel like it. Draw backs...everything is closed by 9, every club is a hole in the wall and everyone knows your business. The mosquitos are horrible and so big they can carry you on their backs if they tried. By no means am I the run the street type but i do like having the option. As of right now The closet WalMart is 30 mins away. There are no malls or boutiques or real restaurants. To drive 30 mins to civilization is a monster. I am also not a people person. Most of the folks around here wanna sit around and gossip and be in ur business...NEGATIVE. Definitely not my scene. I definitely have some adjusting to do. Im not far from ATL so whenever Im up for the drive I can always head out to see friends and family. Me being me I always say I am close to everything because I dont mind driving but at some point you dont want to have to drive just to see or experience something different. *sigh* The things we do for love I tell ya. I'm at the studio with my guy and would rather be curled up with a book or watching a movie. Instead Im out here about to be carried off into the wild blue yonder trying to be supportive. Dont wanna be rude and shut him down and Im definitely not the type to embarrass a man in public. I will say this shit is for the birds. Seeing as though I havent lived here more than a week I have plenty of adjusting to do.

Labels: Random thoughts and feelings

So where to begin? Once again my insecurities are getting the best of me. I have been managing to combat my craziness which is definitely a good thing. The problem I face now is cohabitation. Ive never wanted to cohabitate and honestly its never been an option. I've always put my foot down and stood my ground. But as I begin to grow and mature I know that this is a serious issue because I don't feel that this is the right way of doing things. I'm in situation now where my guy is pushing for this. In a way I feel as though I am compromising myself but not quite sure how to put this into words. I decided to move in but still have an uneasy feeling. Ive asked advice from those closest to me and most seems to think it is a good look. I don't exactly know how to explain my reservations during a time when cohabiting is so common place. I consider myself a contemporary traditionalist meaning while I am com temporary in a lot of ways I am a traditionalist at heart. I'm really feeling like this is the man for me though we face many obstacles. We are growing together but there are some things that scares me. As I am typing this I am more and more confused. I don't know what to do or which way to turn.

Labels: Relationships